Gratitude

Gratitude

So... My fingers got out of the rust. I put some oil on them, and they started running again. I had been stuck on poetry mode for the last 2 years (in french here). This was the time I came back to my natal country after a long 30 years journey accross the oceans and continents. Since back, all I wrote was poetry. Mind you, poetry is great, fast, efficient. In poetry I learned to erase any extra words. In poetry, I cut to the essentials. Poetry, as a form of hacking: the shortest, most efficient code. Yet, my romantic mind longued to align a few words in order to form a sentence. As the waves passed, the ship started to sail smooth, and sentences started coming back. Often, I was told: "you think too much". Of course I rebelled against this thought, and defended my position best I could. Yet, it was a corect diagnosis. "You have too much wind" said an old Tibetan doctor I went to see a few years in a row. "You think too much" he repeated. The 3rd year, I finally got an explanation to his diagnosis. "It's ok to think. But it's better to think of butterflies" the old doctor said. Now, if this seems like a simple truth, simple things are sometimes the hardest to implement in our daily life. 

While I wasn't busy writing poetry and listening to the birds songs, I traded the white page for ciment, lime, sand and stones. The brushes and colors got replaced by shuffles, wheel barrels, ciment mixers, dust, new technical words and hard work. After so many years of exploration, a part of me needed to make a nest. My hands needed to dig deep into matter, so I started a garden in which to grow salads, potatoes, tomatoes, zuchinis and of course, the flowers. I carried stones, entering the mineral world, where the walls seem to talk ancient tales of once upon a time. The house building process has been a most enriching one, filled with learning, sweat and good meditations on the nature of life and all that Art. Slowly but surely, a little house takes shape, and the garden grows. This project will keep me busy, for as long as I want it to, and it is a good thing to have a nest to go back to for the free bird type that I am. In this process, I would like to send gratitude to all those that gave a helping hand, close and far.

As a new year begins, well, the wheel keeps on turning and the seasons will keep on passing. I will not stop "thinking too much", but I will think of butterflies, as the old doctor prescribed. If sometimes we have to get lost in order to find ourself, then sometimes we also have to make the choice to be happy. The world outside gives enough reasons to worry, I chose to not worry about the things I can not change. A sweet type of surrendering, a getting back to basics, a deep and profound gratitude for the journey we call Life. As the words start aligning again and form sentences, one stone at a time, something gets built. Something along the lines of acceptance, something along the lines of a certain peace settling inside, something soft and mushy. Something like the scent of a flower, the sound of a rain drop, something as simple as a clear blue sky. I know clouds will come and go, waves will keep their ups and downs. As the years pass, I keep learning how to sail this ship across this strange yet amazing land... what a delight it is. After the tears have poured, then comes the laughter, humour remaining a faithfull companion.

To friends and family, thank you for the support and sharing the journey through the rough and the smooth. Be the best you can be, a light onto yourself, all the best for this year. Enjoy :)